Are conferences just an excuse to end up at the bar?
By Amanda J. Clay
My husband and I often debate the usefulness of professional conferences. In his opinion, conferences are dull, mandatory
networking events where you are forced to make small talk about boring topics, listen to annoying sales pitches, and smile at competitors, all in an effort to just mask wanting to sneak away to the bar. He can’t see why I will rearrange priorities in order to attend multiple writers conferences and events every year.
Now, I’m no stranger to a stiff martini at the end of a long conference day—actually I do think some of the best networking happens at the bar—but a writing conference is so much more to me than forced small talk and cheap vendor presentations. It’s the only time in this isolating career I get to socialize with other people trying to hack it out in this glorious, frustrating, and bizarre career. People who understand. Because normal just don’t get us, amIrgight?
But, I get it. Traveling to a conference can be expensive, time-consuming, and emotionally draining. For a lot of writers, there’s nothing worse than having to socialize with hundreds of strangers. In person. In public. Wearing actual pants.
I hear you! Even for the extroverted among us, conferences are draining.
If you saw me at a conference, you’d likely find me happily working the room, heels and lipstick in place, chatting up a stranger. Would you guess I’m actually hugely introverted?
There’s a misconception about introverted people that we HATE being around people. That’s not universally true at all! It simply means that we recharge our batteries in more solitary pursuits, whereas extroverted people find energy from being around other people. Small talk is tough for me too, but I love being around my writing tribe. I could spend all day with my favorite people. But after a while, I need to retreat for a little “me” time. And that’s ok. Being around a lot of people is exhausting for us introverts.
The first time I stood at the mouth of a conference, little notebook in hand with my jotted-down pitch and saw hordes of people in name badges, I was ready to crawl under the cookie table in the fetal position. It’s critical to have a game plan when going in so that you don’t get overwhelmed and miss out. No matter what level of your career—from novice dreamer to NYT Best Seller—conferences are bursting with opportunity to connect with people in the industry both at your current and aspirational level. (ahem, might I suggest the San Francisco Writers Conference?)
After years of attending events all over the country, here’s my advice on how to put your best foot forward and get the very most out of this incredible networking opportunity.
Planning is Key. Make sure you download the conference schedule and have a really solid idea of which workshops you want to attend or which speakers you’d like to see or meet. If you’re pitching, do your research on the prospective agents and editors BEFORE you arrive. Don’t waste your time and theirs pitching to someone who doesn’t represent your genre! I’ve been there and it’s an awkward confidence killer.
Once you’re there, get a map of the place! Some conference locations are massive. Mark where each workshop is being held, scout out the bathrooms, secure the coffee situation. Trust me, there’s nothing like being a scattered sweaty mess running from place to place to really knock your best foot out from under you. No one wants to meet their potential future editor with smudged mascara and coffee down your pants. The more time you have to get to where you need to be, the more relaxed and confident you’ll be.
Look Professional. Now I’m not saying rock the pencil skirt and Jimmy Choos (unless that’s your thing) but you want to look like you take this business seriously. I see it all the time at conferences where people think that just because we work alone in our PJs that it’s ok to network in ratty clothes without showering. Seriously, it’s not. This is your CAREER. You wouldn’t show up to a regular job interview like that would you? The great thing about being a creative is that we don’t have to conform to one type of dress code, so have fun with it and be authentic to your author brand (that buzz word I’m always throwing out). It’s ok to have a funky style, to be vintage, to be glam, even to be a laid back jeans-and-tee kinda person. I have a successful sci-fi writer friends who wears full-body leather catwoman-style suits to all her events. Just so long as you look deliberate and put together. Trust me, so many people ignore this advice, you will stand out.
Sustenance. Every conference is different, but many times the schedule is packed and snacks and refreshments aren’t provided. Make sure you plan to either have snacks on hand or in your room. Nobody likes a hangry writer. Be sure keep water with you at all times too. Don’t underestimate how much talking you’re going to be doing—and if you’re anything like me, the only person I’m used to talking to all day is myself. That throat’s gonna get parched.
Down Time. Whether a weekend or a week, conferences are tiring. While I encourage making the most of it and powering through, know that it’s ok to take a break. You just can’t do all the things, all the time. If there’s a block of time where nothing of particular interest is happening, maybe that’s a good time to grab some “me” time—read, write (even better), or just sit and people watch. Whatever helps you regroup. I’ve been at week-long events that were all day, all night. By the final morning I had to force myself out from under the covers. I’d dare even the most extraverted soul to get through that with full energy bars!
Be Fearless. This might be the most important piece of wisdom I can bestow. Conferences are a time to step outside your comfort zone. Talk to a stranger. Ask them about their work. Prepare your elevator pitch and don’t be afraid to share it. Writing is the most supportive community out there and we’re all in this together. Writers LOVE helping other writers. It’s a pay-it-forward kind of world. I was terrified of talking to strangers at first. I was terrified of talking about my work because, nobody cared, right? Wrong. People care. You can tell me about it! I care! And they will help you if they can. I have met lifelong connections at conferences who have been invaluable in supporting me in my career–not to mention become my best friends. You never know when a chance encounter will lead to the thing that makes it for you. Or possibly lead to an incredible new friendship. So go talk to the other writer alone at the bar, sit down next to a stranger at lunch. Smile. Be open. Have fun. Be fearless.
Amanda J. Clay writes gripping mysteries and twisty domestic thrillers with complex, kick-butt female leads designed to keep you up all night, including the twisty Pt. Redwood mystery series. When she’s not staring at a computer screen, she is part of the fabulous team that puts on the San Francisco Writers Conference. She currently lives in Colorado with her dashing, real-life hero of a husband, who inspires her villains and heroes alike, and their hellion of a daughter.
Website: http://amandajclay.com
Books: https://amazon.com/~/e/B00QEEAJ20
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Such great advice!!!
🙂